


Life's A Con

by ExhaustedCommonSense



Category: White Collar
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fem!Neal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 08:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1184322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExhaustedCommonSense/pseuds/ExhaustedCommonSense
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neal Caffrey doesn't exist, he's just a mask for Lizzy Haversham. She's been fooling people into believing she's a man for so long, she doesn't know how to stop. Fem!Neal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have completely ignored the canon version of Neal's history, but considering this is an AU you'll just have to forgive me.

Linda Shaw was ten years old when she ran away from home. Her mother spent most of her time in a drunken state in which she didn't even remember she had a daughter. The times between the alcohol and drugs were the worst though, for when memories of her little girl came back to the front of her mind, the woman who should have loved her, instead lashed out in fits of anger. 

She never knew her father, the only things she knew about him were what her mother had told her before passing out. Things about a man who didn't want to be burdened by a child or married to a worthless lump of a woman. The police had informed them of his death when Linda was five; some sort of a mugging gone wrong.

Living on the streets, she learnt early that little girls drew too much unwanted attention. She cut her hair with a rusty shard of metal and that was enough; she was at that young age when a haircut was the only thing that proved her gender. Most guessed she was just an effeminate looking boy and she avoided any who would have looked harder.

She'd only been living on the streets for a few months when she met the person who was going to change her whole life. Law meant nothing to a child who just wanted something to eat, and so she'd become quite skilled at picking pockets. It was a fortunate mistake that led her to try picking the pocket of a young man, thinking that he would be an easy mark.

The boy had been quicker than she'd expected and before she'd had the chance to do anything, he had dragged her into an alcove and taken his money back from her while keeping hold of one of her wrists. They'd stood in silence for a while, hers a mixture of terror and defiance and his thoughtful.

"What's your name?" He finally asked, his voice didn't give away any of his emotions. She tugged on the grip he had on her wrist but he didn't let go, just staring at her from behind a pair of round rimmed glasses.

"Neal," she answered with a glare. She'd created a new identity for herself out of need but she knew that she would need documents to back it up when she got older.

"Well, Neal, you're in luck," the man smiled at her, loosening his hold a little but not enough for her to run away. "Because I need someone to help me with a con and you look like you need the money."

"What sort of con?" She asked suspiciously; she'd learnt to be wary around men, even in her boy disguise. It wouldn't be the first time that she'd conned someone but she usually did them on her own since she could never be sure that the other person wouldn't just keep all the money and drop her in it.

He quickly explained what he wanted her for and the money that she'd get from helping, even promising to buy her something to eat if she agreed. He let go of her wrist and told her that she could think about it, arranging to meet her again when she'd decided.

Four weeks later they'd successfully pulled of the con and were splitting the money, the boy giving her the amount that he had promised. There'd been a couple of complications but in the end it had gone their way.

"You can call me Mozzie," the man told her after handing over the money. It was the first time that he'd told her a name to call him by and she smiled at him in thanks. "And if you want to, I can teach you how to be a brilliant conman."

"What's the catch?" She questioned, more at ease around him then when they'd first met, but not yet completely ready to trust him.  
His eyes assessed her briefly before he replied. "I need someone to help me pay the rent for my room."

"You old enough for your own place?" She raised one of her eyebrows. People on the streets grew up quicker than other children, just because he looked like he was in his late teens didn't mean that he was.

"I'm twenty," the boy, Mozzie, admitted. "But the motel owners around here don't care about age anyway. Surely you know that by now. I've been living on my own since I was thirteen."

A grimace crossed her face as she nodded. It wasn't too hard to decide on what to do, even with all her suspicions and fears; she was still young and, though not very trusting, she craved the idea of human interaction with someone who didn't want to hurt her.  
Mozzie was strange and full about conspiracy ideas, but he hadn't tried to harm her in the weeks she'd known him. In the end, the offer of a place to stay and the thought that she might be able to eat more regularly finally made her accept the deal.

She had to go out often to pick pockets in order to pay her bit of the rent and they got better at pulling cons, each one getting bigger with a bigger pay check at the end as their confidence and trust in each other grew.

It only took Mozzie a week of living with her to discover that she was female, but he told her that he'd had a few suspicions of it. Linda didn't doubt that because Mozzie had suspicions about everyone. They decided that it would be best if she continued to pretend to be male and she had no problems with it; she'd grown to depend on her mask of being Neal.

After the awkward time of going through puberty with only Mozzie to teach her what to do, she learnt to bind her chest with bandages in order to continue her disguise. Mozzie grew into the role of a protective older brother and she depended on him as the only person who she could be herself with. He suggested once or twice that she give up the idea of being Neal, but by that time the mask had become her safety net and she didn't know how to let him go.

When she was sixteen, Mozzie gave her documents that declared her to be Neal Caffrey, an eighteen year old boy from New York. He'd changed her birthday to the21st March but had otherwise left her early history blank. She was thrilled that she now had proof that she was Neal and no one could doubt it.

He also handed her a second pile of papers with another identity that declared her to be Lizzy 'Neal' Haversham, age 16, sister to Dante 'Mozzie' Haversham. She noticed that her birthday was the day that they'd first met and was overwhelmed by emotion. Her new name was perfect to her, a nice mix of her old life and new; she thought of it as a combination of Linda and Mozzie.

Occasionally, she would get the chance to wear a nice dress and heels and use the documents that she felt were hers. She'd given up her identity of Linda Shaw when she'd left her house all those years ago, choosing instead to adopt her persona of Neal Caffrey, but out of all her names she felt that Lizzy Haversham was the only one that was truly her.

Mozzie had asked her once when she was fourteen if she liked being Neal because she wanted to be a boy. He'd reassured her that he would support her no matter what, sprouting theories about famous people who he was sure had changed their gender.  
After calming him down and getting a hold of her giggles, she'd told him that she was perfectly happy being a girl and never wanted to change that. She liked being Neal because she felt safer when she was him; she had more confidence and people treated her with more respect.

She'd thought about it afterwards, but found that she'd been telling the truth; while she might pretend to be male ninety per cent of the time, she was a female in her mind and she didn't ever want to change that. Those times when she got to be Lizzy were cherished by her, even if it was by her own choice that they were so few and far between.

As Neal, she developed her own sense of style that included designer suits and black fedoras. For cons, she wore whatever was needed in order to succeed and get paid at the end. When she got to be herself, she preferred to wear expensive dresses and heels, both of which made her feel good. With all these different styles and identities, it was a miracle that she hadn't developed a personality disorder.

She got incredibly good at pinning her hair up so that it looked like a boy's haircut, but in reality when she let it down it fell to her shoulders. It meant that if she ever got into a tight scrape, she could alter her whole look a few seconds and no one would ever connect Neal Caffrey to her.

One thing that she did notice was that she could charm nearly every woman that she met when she was Neal and even a few men. She was confused about how to feel about that to start with but eventually accepted it. The woman she'd flirted with had told her that she was beautiful and seemed so sensitive; all things that appealed to them. She supposed it could also be that she could relate to them and knew the right things to say when complimenting them.

For obvious reasons, she never had a relationship with any of the women and never slept with any of them, never going further than kisses and a bit of touching. When dressed as Lizzy however she could pick up anyone she wanted to; the men repeatedly told her how sexy she was, but her relationships never went further than one night stands.

After all the flirting and kissing that she did with women when she was Neal, she decided to try and pick up a woman in her true female form and was surprised that it just as easy as it was when she was Neal. It seemed that she could pick up either gender no matter what form she was in, proven when she had a make out session with a man in her Neal disguise.

She decided after all her experiments that she didn't care about gender and could be happy with either a man or a woman, but found that she had a slight preference to men. Mozzie hadn't said anything about her new sexuality other than to tell her to try and keep her conquests out of their flat because he didn't need to see or hear his baby sister like that.

When she was twenty three she met Kate Moreau for the first time and developed a small crush on her. Mozzie warned her about trying to start anything with the woman, mentioning the fact that Kate had a boyfriend. Lizzy was a lot of things, but she wouldn't ever try to go further than flirting with someone who was in a relationship and had no respect for cheaters.

They parted ways as friends, but Kate only knew her as Neal and she didn't want to tell her the truth. She could tell that Kate was attracted to her in her male form, but it was just a base attraction that neither of them acted on beyond heated flirting. She had no way of knowing if she would find her true body as attractive as she found Neal's and wasn't willing to take the risk of ruining their friendship.

While celebrating her twenty fifth birthday – even though as Neal she was documented as being twenty seven – she bumped into a predatory woman in a bar who tried to take her wallet. Instead of reporting her like a law abiding citizen would have done, Lizzy bought her a drink and spent a fun night drinking and picking out marks.

They ended the night with an intense make out session that only didn't go further because she was dressed as Neal and she wasn't drunk enough to risk Alex – the woman – freaking out that she was actually kissing a woman.

A week later Alex found her again and they roped Mozzie into helping them with a con, during which they discovered that Alex was a black market fence and agreed that they might think about working with her again. She offered to buy them drinks after the con, looking at Lizzy when she spoke; Mozzie claimed that he would be perfectly happy drinking fine wine in the hotel room, but Neal accepted the invitation.

A few drinks in, Alex invited her back to her place and, against her better judgement, she agreed. They had another drink in the room before continuing what they'd stopped a week ago, only this time they began to go further than a make out session. It was only when Alex began to remove Lizzy's suit jacket that she came back to her senses.

"Stop," she panted, pulling out of the kiss and trying to move back a bit, a progress that was stopped by Alex's hands in her shirt. "W-we need to st-stop."

"Why?" She growled, leaning forward and catching her in another kiss. Lizzy let out a low moan when they pulled back to breathe, but she still tried to get herself out of the others grip. "Why should we stop?"

"I'm a woman," she finally managed to get out between kisses, freezing when she realized what she'd admitted. Alex cocked an eyebrow at her and then quickly moved; pulling the shirt that was the only thing still covering the bandages holding her breasts down until it was pooled on the floor.

"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that," Alex murmured, checking out her curves and quirking her mouth up in a slight smile at what she saw.

"Sorry," Lizzy muttered, moving her arms to cover herself up as much as she could.

Alex laughed, bringing their lips back together until they were forced up for air. "Don't be."

In the end, they team up for a few cons, even deciding to go after a well-known music box together and getting closer than anyone else ever managed before she was forced to leave Alex in a hospital in France, fully expecting to never see her again. Their relationship had been fiery; full of passion and arguments, but not of much else. Most of the time they'd met up, spent the night together and then left, neither of them interested in a long romantic commitment with each other.

Feeling a bit lost, she decided not to go find Mozzie after the failed attempt at getting the music box. She felt guilty at leaving Alex alone, knowing that there was a chance she would be arrested, but she knew that in this life you had to protect yourself first; it was the first and most important lesson she'd learnt.

It was during this time that she found Kate again. This time the other woman was single and their interest in each other was more clearly expressed. Lizzy introduced Kate to the criminal world and helped her become a successful con-woman.

The only problem was that Lizzy never trusted her with her secret and because of that they couldn't get further than kisses and romantic dates. Despite this, Lizzy began to feel that she was slowly falling in love with the dark haired beauty.

Unfortunately, things began to unravel too quickly for her to stop it. Kate ended up finding out the truth and left before she could explain anything. Lizzy’s cons got showier in an attempt to draw Kate back out, which meant that the F.B.I. got closer to catching her. Eventually, she lost control of everything as Agent Peter Burke used Kate to catch her on Bond Forgery and before she knew it, she was being sent to jail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: I don't want to offend anyone with this story, so I will try my hardest to explain things now. If anyone has any questions, please don't hesitate in asking me about them, I will do my best to answer them all.
> 
> In this story, Neal was born a girl and DOES NOT want to be a boy. She is female; she has always been and always will be female. Pretending to be a boy is her way of coping with life and since she's lived like that her whole life, she doesn't really know how to let it go.
> 
> She sees Neal as another part of her personality, but she knows that it's not really who she is. As a con woman, she can take on many different identities but the one she claims as her own – as if she was born with it – is Lizzy because that's the one that means the most to her. Neal Caffrey is a mask that she uses.
> 
> I probably didn't manage to explain that very well, but what I'm trying to say is that I don't want anyone to feel offended after reading this. Lizzy is not transgendered, she wasn't born in the wrong body, and she doesn't want to change anything about herself. She's not a transvestite, though the description might occasionally fit her.
> 
> If I've written anything that insults anyone, please tell me and I will do my best to fix it.


	2. Pilot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought that it would be pointless to write out the parts of the episode that don't change, so just because I haven't written it, doesn't mean it hasn't happened. Most of the bits that include cases won't be written because I'm keeping them the same.
> 
> Warning: Kate being an awful person.

The only explanation as to why no one at the prison knew she was a woman must have been Mozzie. He was an expert at hacking into things and keeping secrets and she knew without a doubt that he would be looking out for her even while she was trapped behind metal bars and they hadn't seen each other in a few years; he was still her older brother.

The first rule was to never trust anyone other than yourself, because if you relied on someone else then there was a chance that they could drop you in it and leave you behind. Much like she had done with Alex, but the one exception to that rule for her had always been Mozzie; she could trust him to have her back no matter what.

The prison doctor had tested her blood pressure and her pulse, but he hadn't done anything else, even though he should have done a full body exam. He hadn't said a word as he stamped the papers in front of him; declaring that he'd done a full search and found nothing. She changed into her orange jumpsuit in privacy and found a camera jammer in one of the pockets.

It was a completely new challenge for her to keep her disguise in prison; she didn't dare leave the jammer behind no matter where she went. She was lucky that she got to shower alone – no doubt Mozzie was behind that as well – and she jammed the cameras every time. The guards either never noticed or just never said anything about it.

She was counting down her days until she was released, it would have been easy enough to escape, but she didn't really see the point since four years was one of the shorter sentences she could have got. Three months after she’d been arrested, she got a visit from Kate that she’d been expecting.

“Finally decided to visit me then?” Lizzy asked with a sigh as Kate sat down on the other side of the glass. She hadn’t had any visitors since the only other person who would visit her was Mozzie and he was paranoid about being caught on camera. It was best if they weren’t seen together just in case they were ever forced to flee and she needed to ditch her Neal disguise. The last thing they wanted was for anyone to connect Lizzy to Neal and the crime world.

 “I had to make sure that once you’re out you won’t come after me,” Kate replied evenly, not showing any emotion. “I don’t want anything to do with you. You disgust me and the only reason I haven’t told anyone your secret is because I don’t want people to know I was ever with you.”

“I think you’ve made your point,” Lizzy glared at the woman she’d once loved. “I won’t come after you. I don’t ever want to see you again.”

Once she was taken back to her cell, she let the tears that she’d held back with anger come forth. She’d truly loved Kate and hoped that she’d react like Alex had with acceptance. It was a stupid hope; she’d seen the way Kate looked at same sex couples, it had been stupid to think she’d be the exception. Lizzy meant what she’d said, once she was out, she wouldn’t look for Kate.

Five months before she would be released as a free woman, another prisoner found out her secret and began harassing her. He promised he wouldn’t tell anyone providing she agreed to sleep with him. When she refused his offer, he began to find reasons to get close to her, threatening and intimidating her. It was clear that it wouldn’t be long before he would force himself on her.

A month after he began harassing her, she was walking out of the prison in a guard uniform with the camera jammer switched on in her pocket. She didn’t know where she was going to go, she just knew that Agent Burke would be after her and she couldn’t go back to jail. The problem was that Lizzy didn’t want to be a fugitive; she hated the thought of not being able to walk out her front door as a free woman.

She could just abandon her Neal mask and live and Lizzy, but Agent Burke would never stop looking for her. He was smart and she was sure that it would just be a matter of time before he connected her identities. Her true identity as Lizzy had never been a part of the crime world; when she was herself, it was the only time she could pretend she had nothing to do with crime and just be a normal woman. It would kill her to have to give that up and go back to jail.

Cursing herself and her inability to run like Mozzie would, she purposely booked herself into a hotel using one of the aliases that she knew the F.B.I. had in their database. Knowing she wouldn’t have long, she sat down on the bed and began sketching on a piece a paper. If her plan didn’t work, then she’d have to escape jail again and leave Neal Caffrey behind for good.

“It’s been a while,” Peter Burke announced cautiously as he walked through the unlocked hotel door. He was no doubt suspicious about how easy it had been to catch her.

“A few years,” she shrugged, not getting up off the bed of even looking up from her drawing. “Give or take.”

“They’re going to give you another four years for this you know?” Peter told her; still clearly curious about why she broke out in the first place.

“Maybe,” she agreed, ignoring his confusion and instead standing up and slowly plucking something off his suit while slipping her drawing into his pocket. “You know what this is?”

After a bit of quick thinking, Lizzy was ninety percent sure that she’d convinced Peter to visit her in jail. Her only chance of getting out of jail without being a fugitive would be to work for the F.B.I., the only problem with her plan meant that she had to survive a week in jail with the slime ball prisoner before Peter would meet her.

A week seemed to pass slowly as she defended herself against unwanted advances. The day before Peter visited things got physical and ended with the slime ball gripping his bruised family jewels and her with a bruised stomach. Eventually though, the day came that Peter visited her and it was time to put her plan into action.

"How do you know anything about him?" Burke asked, clearly at a loss to how she would have any inside information about the case he was working on.

"You know my life," she replied with a smile, leaving out the fact that he didn't know the main thing about her life and that Mozzie had sent her the necessary information she’d need to convince the Fed. "You don't think I know yours? Did you get the birthday cards?"

"They were a nice touch," he said, watching her. She smothered a grin, wondering what he'd say if he knew that she'd honestly considered signing them with kisses, just because she knew it would annoy him even more.

They spoke a little longer about the Dutchman and then she cut to the chase, attempting to convince him to let her out of prison and into his custody. He declined immediately and left the room, leaving her behind to start waiting another four years before she'd be released.

She thanked her lucky stars that he changed his mind. As much as she didn't want to become a fugitive, she would have escaped again rather than wait another four years. The guards explained to her what would happen, fastened the tracker around her left ankle and then grudgingly signed the release papers and let her walk out.

About an hour later, Peter is driving away and leaving her in what she's sure is the shabbiest motel he could find. It was the kind of place Mozzie and she would have thought twice about staying in when they first met and were broke. With a sigh, she left the motel and went to the thrift store that Peter had mentioned, dreading what she'd find.

Peter was very clearly shocked when he saw where she had managed to move to. His expression was tempered with disbelief when Cindy walked past, a girl that she was more than happy to help 'babysit'.

"You look like a cartoon," was the first comment she got when she walked downstairs in her suit and fedora. She'd been called a cartoon by a man before, only he'd been comparing her to Betty Boop; a comparison that didn't fit her since after hiding them for so long, her breasts were no way near as big as the cheeky cartoon girl. That's not to say that she didn't have a healthy rack, because she did and she didn't mind admitting her own beauty at all.

"This is a classic Rat Pack," she answered indignantly. "This is a Devore."

She purposely pretended to be ignorant of what he meant as he practically ranted about how it was unfair that she could get whatever she wanted without working. She hid a smile at the clear mix of jealousy and annoyance in his voice and followed him into the car instead.

"You are way out of your league," Peter told her as soon as Diana had left.

"Harmless flirting," she responded. "It's like a dance."

"No, there is no dance. You're not even on her dance card. No dancing for you," he added just in case she hadn't got the point. She amused herself counting how many times he said 'dance' before choosing her words. She had an idea about what he was alluding to be she wanted to be sure first.

"Um, she digs the hat," she announced, giving him a cocky smirk.

"Um, she'd rather be wearing the hat," he replied, leaving her to figure out what he meant.

She grinned at the fact that she was right and cursed the fact that she was forced to be Neal. Diana was incredibly attractive and it sounded like she'd have been perfect for a night of fun if they'd met when she was dressed up as Lizzy. Sighing away her second of regret, she moved to go find someone she knew.

When Peter came back, she was busy watching Diana flirt with a female customs agent. The other woman wasn't too bad looking either and it was nice to watch them, knowing that neither of them would be attracted to her as she looked at that moment. She was used to being able to attract anyone she wanted in either of her identities, but instead of being upset that she'd met a woman she couldn't charm as Neal, she was instead kind of relieved because it might mean she could be friends with Diana while still being Neal.

"No dance, huh?" She spoke up when it became clear Peter wasn't going to say anything.

"Not for you," he sounded a bit amused.

"I thought the FBI had a policy," she made it sound a bit like a question. It would be nice to know that if she flirted with a few guys when acting as Neal she wouldn't be sent back to jail for it.

"That's the military," he informed him, sounding distracted. "We don't ask. We don't care."

"That's good to know," she smiled at him, clearly startling him. He didn't get the chance to say anything though since Diana came over to join them and he was forced to ask her about a customs inspector instead.

They managed to get a break through, even though the guy was found dead. It was easy enough to discover that the bond was a forgery and from there they went back to the office to work out the details. She got the chance to amaze them with her math skills, a thing that Mozzie had been eager to help her improve when she was younger because of all the ways it could help her in a con.

"Big plans for the weekend?" She asked once they were back in the car. She'd thought about leaving it, but then decided that there was a chance he might have forgotten his anniversary that her sources told her he occasionally did. Maybe a hint or two wouldn't go amiss.

"Oh, you know, got to fix the sink, catch the game," he had clearly forgotten again. She resisted the temptation to sigh and instead decided to drop another hint.

"With Elizabeth?"

"Yeah, yeah, she's into it," he smiled. "How cool is that? She likes to watch the Giants."

Lizzy resisted the temptation to snort. It was highly doubtable that Elizabeth liked watching the Giants, it was more likely that she was too kind to tell him that she found it boring, something that she herself would have had no problems doing.

"Uh-huh," she said instead. Giving up on the subtle approach, she added. "Even on your anniversary?"

The car came to a halt in the middle of the street as he complained about always being surprised by it and how he had to make up for last year when he had forgotten again. She was sure that Elizabeth must have been a brilliant woman with the patience of a saint if she managed to put up with this every year.

"What makes her feel alive?" She questioned, wrinkling her nose at the thought of what Peter got up to in bed.

"I'm drawing a blank," he sighed.

She tried not to let her incredulous expression show on her face. "How could you not know? When you were chasing me you knew everything about me!"  _Except that I was a woman._

"That's the job," he protested. "It's very different."

"A relationship is meant to be work!" She exclaimed, honestly she could see why women had so many problems with men in relationships. She was beginning to think that she was lucky for never being in a relationship with a man before, if they were all like Peter.

"You don't get to lecture me on relationships!" He interrupted her thoughts. "My wife didn't get me arrested.”

"I can't believe you just said that," she winced. "Way to be sensitive."

"That was harsh," he admitted, looking kind of guilty. "I didn't mean that. What am I going to do?”

"Try calling Dr Phil," she huffed, still a bit stung from his words. She paused briefly before shutting the car door, debating with herself whether to speak or not. "Try flowers," she finally suggested. "And chocolates."

Once inside the house, she stopped to grab a cane from the umbrella stand, hearing someone in the room ahead of her. She began to creep forwards and lifted the cane, only to lower it again when she heard the misquoted Ginsburg.

"Mozzie!" She grinned at him, walking forwards. He stood up as she approached and accepted the hug she gave him before she stepped back to look at him. "What are you doing sitting in the dark?"

"The light's how they find you," he told her breezily, causing her to smile. She was really glad to see him again and it was nice to know he hadn't changed.

"How did you get in?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I used this," he held up his fist. She knew immediately what he was going to say next; Mozzie was never one for violence and he would never have even thought of hurting June or Cindy. "I knocked, introduced myself to June, she's great. You get a load of the granddaughter?"

She couldn't have stopped the stupid grin if she wanted to. "Thanks for coming. I really missed you."

His face softened. "Of course I came, I missed you too. Can I see it?"

"I can’t pick it," he sighed, giving the anklet a last glare before she covered it again. "You flew too close to the sun and they burnt your wings."

“I don’t want you to pick it, Moz,” she admitted. “I don’t want to be a fugitive.”

She then asked him for help with the case and they said their goodbyes. She as glad he wasn’t angry at her for getting arrested. He was, however, annoyed that she didn’t tell him about the slime ball in jail. She had a funny feeling that Mozzie was going to get revenge for her but she didn’t concern herself with it; she knew he wouldn’t get caught.

When she woke up she got the idea to go and see Peter at his house into her head and decided to go with it. It was mostly because she wanted to meet Elizabeth. It was safe to say that Peter was less than pleased to see her in his house. On the other hand, El – as she’d insisted Lizzy call her – was wonderful; she was definitely someone Lizzy could be friends with either as herself or as Neal.

Peter soon began to go back to discussing the case and Lizzy explained how he'd signed the forgeries, even admitting that she'd signed the ones she'd made. They visited the church to see the others and Lizzy made sure to keep a straight face while telling the vicar that Peter was being tempted by Diana.

"This is your wife's visa bill," she said when she was handed the papers.

"I got it all," he announced proudly. "EBay bids, video rentals, library books."

"So, you're stalking your own wife," she raised an eyebrow at him. When she'd advised him to find out what Elizabeth liked, she hadn't expected him to find her electronic history. “You figured out what she likes?”

"Yeah, it's all in the summary," Peter glanced down at the papers. "Pottery making, Nancy Drew mysteries, scented candles- Oleander. Old jazz. Anything Italian except anchovies…"

"You're not going to find the answer in her EBay bids," she sighed in exasperation. After all the years he'd been married to her, she would have thought that he'd know what his wife liked.

"Then help me out," he begged. "You're the romantic.”

“Have you made Elizabeth any promises?” She questioned. “Or do you think all she wants is Oleander candles?"

She walked back into June's house at the end of the day and slid her hat over the top of the piano to where Mozzie was waiting. She gestured for him to follow her up to her flat and then walked into the bathroom while he was talking.

"You're late," he accused as he made himself comfortable on the couch.

"I'm a working woman now," she reminded him. "Give me a break."

"So?" He questioned when she came out of the bathroom in a pair of sweat pants and t-shirt. She'd unpinned her hair and gotten rid of the bandages around her chest. It was nice to know that she could be herself around Mozzie and know that he'd have her back if anyone tried to get into the room.

"We were right about Hagan," she admitted. "I have one week to link him to the bonds or I go back to jail."

"No," he denied immediately. "I had to pull too many strings last time. If you can't link Hagan to the bonds then we activate plan B: cut your tracker and run away using your real name." They both referred to her identity of Lizzy as her real name. Neal may be the one she used more often, but they were both aware that he was just a mask for her to use.

“Don’t worry, Moz,” she soothed, smiling at him. “I’m not going back to jail.”

They found Hagan, with help from Mozzie, and the only thing they needed to do to catch him was open the warehouse door. Peter had probably been joking when he'd given her the book of Warrant Law, but she did read it and from it she began to get ideas on how to catch Hagan.

She couldn't introduce Peter to Mozzie like she'd said she would. She might trust Peter, but she still trusted Mozzie more and she wasn't willing to give up her family. Plus, Mozzie would never have forgiven her if she gave his name to the feds. In the end, she decided that the only way to avoid jail was to do one last reckless stunt.

"You know," Peter said as he sat on the desk next to her and watched as the agents arrested Hagan and his men. "You're really bad at this escape thing."

"What can I say?" She shrugged; it was gratifying to know that if she was really trying then they'd never find her.

"You know this makes me 3 and 0?" He tried to rub it in but the smile on his face gave away the fact that he was joking and knew she'd let him catch her this time…and the time before.

"Maybe I'm not trying hard enough," she admitted, being completely truthful.

Later, she got another piece of identification that proved she was Neal Caffrey, only this time it wasn't a forged one. It was probably the only identification she had that was official. Typical that it would be one that claimed her to be both Neal and a C.I. for the FBI.


	3. Threads

"I hate this," Peter complained, trying in vain to catch the attention of a cab. "Every year it's like this. Finally squeezed into a train at Union Square. Couldn't fall down if you were shot. Come on. It's impossible to catch a cab. Ah, thank you."

Lizzy laughed and let a group of women take the cab they'd just hailed down. "Peter," she chided, smiling at the women. "Enjoy your day. It's fashion week, Peter, embrace it."

She thought wistfully of the last fashion week she'd been to when she'd been wearing a gorgeous dress and heels. The male models had been very accommodating and had promised that they could find her an agent if she had wanted on. It had been very flattering and she'd had a lot of fun trying on all of the designer clothes. In fact, she was pretty sure she still had some of the dresses in storage.

"We're supposed to be interviewing our witness right now," Peter grumbled, oblivious to his partners' thoughts.

"Relax," she commanded, holding out a bill. She remembered fondly the last time when all she had to do was flash a bit of leg.

"That's not going to do it," Peter was muttering as a cab screeched to a halt in front of them. She shot him an 'I-told-you-so' look and climbed into the cab before him.

Peter explained their new case as they were walking into the office. The witness was an extremely pretty model by the name of Tara; she didn't hit on her since she already seemed so distressed. Once they'd finished interviewing her, Lizzy outlined her idea to Peter and they went to go see Hughes.

"I'll authorize five grand for this party," Hughes finally told them.

"Fifteen would be better," she said cheekily, but continued before Peter could cut in. "But we'll make it work. And we'll get Elizabeth to help us."

"My wife?" Peter repeated, clearly surprised at this new twist in the plan.

"She's an event planner," she reminded him. "Best in the business."

"She'll work with us on the price?" Hughes asked, looking between the two of them.

"My wife?" Peter was clearly unable to get past that little bit of information, she nudged him with her elbow, grin still fixed on her face.

"Your wife," she laughed. "His wife."

Elizabeth had been thrilled to work with them and they'd immediately gone to look through the storage areas and take things for the party. Once everything was sorted except for the venue, Elizabeth left to go finish planning the final touches and Lizzy went with Peter to see what venue he'd picked out.

"It's a loft," Peter announced, showing her the photos. "Seized in a DEA bust, fifteen hundred square feet, service elevator, it's perfect."

"Is that a chalk outline?" She demanded, staring at the photo.

"I'm sure they've cleared that up by now," he reassured her hastily. "It has everything you need."

"Yeah," she agreed sarcastically. "If we want five drunk frat buddies showing up. If we get lucky we might even get a few Goths, considering the dead body angle and all."

"Aren't you supposed to be lining up super models?" He retorted, displeased with how she'd disagreed with his idea of a venue.

"Sixty-four and counting," she announced, waving her beeping phone. "My mistake, sixty-five actually, these two are twins."

"Neal Caffrey throws a party and sixty-five super models show up," Peter grumbled.

"They'd be more if I was allowed to invite the men too," she smirked at him, but her phone beeped before she could say anything else.

"That another one of your super models?" He coughed, apparently deciding to ignore her comment.

"No, a friend of mine," she opened the message and smiled. "He's got a place we can use."

"You think your friend's place is better than mine?" He asked indignantly, crossing his arms and giving her a level stare. She smiled back at him, knowing he was going to eat his words when he saw the venue she'd managed to get hold of.

The party went as well as it could without them actually catching the right guy. She got the chance to meet the lovely Agent Cruz and spent a whole night surrounded by models while Tara hung off of his arm and tried to help them find the right man. The only down side was that she didn't get to walk into the party in her best dress and flash her sexy smile like she had last time, instead she'd contented herself with admiring the other people there and flirting shamelessly with a few of the models, even though she kept most of her attention on Tara.

"I wish I could take this off for a day," she sighed, waving a hand towards her bare ankle as she took a seat across from Mozzie. “Just so I could go out like this without worries.” She'd gotten changed into one of her fanciest dresses and high heels. Admittedly, the only one who would see her in them was the man she thought of as a brother, but it still made her feel better about spending fashion week as a man.

Mozzie hummed slightly in agreement as he took a drink from his wine glass while she poured her own. "You're lucky; they have you on a two mile tether. That's a lot in New York. Remember Jimmy Dimaco. The feds had his anklet set at twenty-two feet. He had to take a shower with one foot out of the tub."

She snorted. "That's not true."

"Okay," he conceded. "Maybe thirty feet. But you have it better."

“I know,” she conceded. “I just miss the freedom of going out as myself. If I stepped out of the door looking like this then my identity would be blown.”

“I’m working on finding a way of jamming it,” Mozzie confided. “Just in case an emergency comes up.”

“Does wanting to go to fashion week class as an emergency?” She questioned cheekily, taking another sip of wine. “Those male models were so nice to me last time.”

“I’m sure they were,” Mozzie grumbled, looking over her carefully as his gaze softened. “Are you okay? I know you took the break-up harder than you’re letting on.”

“I’m okay,” she said quietly. “I always knew that once the truth came out it would be over. And you never liked her anyway.”

“You should trust my judgement more with things like this,” he declared, giving her one of his wise-older-brother looks.

“If I did that I’d be single for life,” she laughed, cheering up just like he’d planned.

They had a nice night in together, it was wonderful to spend some time just talking and relaxing after their years apart. They didn’t have to worry about anything since they couldn’t pull any cons and their biggest problem was that Lizzy couldn’t leave the house as herself.

She finished off her flirting with Cruz when she saw what time it was, pushing the door to Peter’s office open and smiling at Peter from where he was sat at his desk. "Where we headed for lunch?" It had become a sort of habit to have lunch together since she couldn't really leave the offices alone.

"Going to have to take a pass," he said, grabbing his jacket and standing up. "Elizabeth wants to meet me in the park."

"Picnic," she nodded, remembering the last time she'd had the chance to have a picnic with someone she'd cared about. "That's romantic."

"Yeah," Peter agreed, sounding nervous. "Should I be worried?"

She let out a light laugh. Typical, he gets an invite to a romantic picnic and the first thing he thinks is that he should be worried. "Did you do something wrong?"

"Probably," Peter groused.

"Maybe she just wants to spend time with you," she proposed dryly. She'd not been in a relationship with a man for so long that it seemed she'd forgotten just how funny they could be when the woman did something they didn't expect. Maybe she should find a nice man to flirt with.

"You think?" He still seemed doubtful but her mind had passed on from his relationship problems to her own.

"Sure, she probably just misses you," she shrugged distractedly, trying to think up different possibilities of how to join the dating scene. It was a lost cause since if she wanted a one night stand then they’d see the anklet. Giving up on the thought for now, she watched as Peter left for his picnic and went to find either Cruz or Jones to have lunch with since she wasn't in the mood to eat alone.

It was with a lot of amusement that Lizzy watched Peter come back from his picnic, adjusting the new watch on his wrist. She held her tongue against pointing out how uncomfortable he looked wearing it and instead they got talking about the case and left to try and interview people. Unfortunately, in the place of another person to talk to, they found a dead body to examine and it had a dress stuffed in its mouth.

"Hello?" She picked up her buzzing phone and held it her ear, keeping her hand on Tara's back since the model looked like she was a word away from bolting. She was a very brave girl to come out of protective custody to help them with the case again, and Lizzy would never forgive herself if anything happened to the sweet model.

They bartered about money and things for a little longer before the guy on the phone began to get more threatening. She made sure to keep her smile fixed on her face even as she told him she wanted ten million for the dress Tara was currently wearing. If you wanted to pull off a successful con, then you had to look confident in what you were doing.

"Do you know who you're talking to?" The man demanded, sounding frustrated and angry.

"This is Steve, right?" She grinned, if there was anything that was guaranteed to annoy the man more it was to fake ignorance about his name and give him one as common as 'Steve'.

"I tried to be nice," he growled down the phone. "I tried to give you a choice."

She felt guilt stab at her when it was discovered that he'd gotten his hands on Tara. They arranged a place and time for a trade and Lizzy tried her hardest to stress the point of not having a plan. The best thing they could do is be ready to roll with anything the guy threw at them; if they had a plan, they would panic when something happened they weren't ready for.

It frustrated her to hear that she wouldn't be allowed to help as the trade as going off, but there was no way she was going to sit back idly while Tara's life was in danger. It was with these thoughts in her mind that she knocked on the van door. She was pulled inside and watched as Peter began to try strike up a bargain with the man holding Tara hostage.

"Hey, is this Steve?" She could have laughed as everyone in the van turned around to stare at her. "What's up buddy? You never called."

Thankfully, everything turned out okay, and while Tara may have a few paranoid tendencies after her rough experience, she got home safely and they caught the man behind everything. She had to restrain herself from hugging Peter in her relief that everything went well and practically skipped up the stairs to her flat where Mozzie was waiting for her.

Mozzie greeted her by giving her an expensive looking dress, saying that he knew she couldn’t go out and get them anymore. She got changed straight away and then sat down next to him to watch the end of fashion week on the TV. It wasn’t as fun as being at the real thing, but it was still pretty great.


End file.
